LiberalsMustDie.com

USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!

We all know that we live in the greatest country on Earth (I used them term "we" because only Americans should be reading this blog, NO FOREIGNERS ALLOWED, understand?), and we all know that we have the greatest military in the history of the universe thanks to Jesus.

But every now and then it's nice to get a real understanding for just how much we kick ass.  You screw with America, and we will not just retaliate against you; we won't just retaliate against your country; we might even retaliate against some other countries too; hell we will probably destroy your entire civilization!!!  We follow the word of our Lord Jesus Christ!  You think he would take getting slapped in the face and just turn the other cheek?  Hellz no MFers!

So just take a look at the graph below to realize how awesome we are!

Maybe next time some terrorist wants to bomb our cities or try running for President of the United States they will look at this and realize that they better just let Hillary win the nomination unless they want a storm of bombs to come raining down on their native country.

Click the image to enlarge:

 

Well, color me embarassed. All this time I had been "let's invade Iraq" this, "let's nuke Iran that", "lets turn the middle east into a giant sheet of glass," for 1 reason: I wanted Armegeddon to start ASAP, and for that to happen, we need some crazy foreigners to get into a nuclear war with us.

Now, it looks like I might have been targeting the wrong evil crazy foreigners!

President Musharraf, President and General of Pakistan, has announced that he will step down as General if he wins the upcoming election.

Now, what does this mean for us, you might ask.

Well, let me tell you a little about Pakistan. First, they have tons of nukes. I am not sure how they got their nukes, but I think the Democrats gave them a whole bunch back in the 80s just to piss off Vice President George Bush. Second, they (except for Musharraff) hate America more than even the readers of DailyKos.com! I mean, Bin Laden is running his local Obama 08 campaign out of Pakistan right now, so that gives you an idea of how much these guys hate America.

So why is this a good thing? Simple, as soon as they get a new General, he will probably start giving the nukes to terrorists, who will detonate them. A quick "investigation" will show that the Democrats and Pakistan are to blame. We will then nuke them into a million pieces, but not before they kick off some of their nukes at some of our allies. Our allies will respond, and pretty soon we will all be nuking each other: BINGO: ARMEGEDDON!!!

I can't wait to see the look on the faces of those people who thought Bush was a "failure" when he is able to bring back Jesus!  Single handedly I might add!

So, how do you know when the rapture will happen?

Here is a hint, it will look like this:

Bring on the War, Bring on the Rapture, Bring on Jesus!!

Oh, and vote Republican in 08 or you will be left behind when the rapture comes!

If you consider yourself a "good person" (i.e. a Christian Republican) then you HAVE to go buy at least 1 Ford to show your appreciation for Ford CEO Alan Mulally saving the life or President Bush and co-President Dick Cheney!

Credit Ford Motor Co. CEO Alan Mulally with saving the leader of the free world from self-immolation. Mulally told journalists at the New York auto show that he intervened to prevent President Bush from plugging an electrical cord into the hydrogen tank of Ford's hydrogen-electric plug-in hybrid at the White House last week.

Ford wanted to give the Commander-in-Chief an actual demonstration of the innovative vehicle, so the automaker arranged for an electrical outlet to be installed on the South Lawn and ran a charging cord to the hybrid. However, as Mulally followed Bush out to the car, he noticed someone had left the cord lying at the rear of the vehicle, near the fuel tank. "I just thought, 'Oh my goodness!' So, I started walking faster, and the President walked faster and he got to the cord before I did. I violated all the protocols. I touched the President!

But he didn't touch him in a "bad way" like that one guy from NSync. He grabbed the President and stopped him from blowing up the entire place!!

I think we need to find a way to get this guy Mulally involved in fixing Iraq. This guy is quick on his feat, and is able to quickly realize when the President is going to do something that is going to kill lots of people, and take the necessary steps to avoid that!

We needed men like him 5 years ago! But now that we know what we have in Mulally, I think he needs to be given some kind of post immediately!

On another note... this is what happens when you have "hybrid" cars. People die! What if this was your wife? She plugges in the hybrid the wrong way and BOOM!! There she goes!

Do you really want the death of your wife on your hands like that?? I'll stick to regular engines thanks.

Could simple kites be all it takes to kill or injure hundreds of terrorists?

Based on kite flying festival in Pakistan, the answer is YES!

11 people were killed and over 100 were injured!

At least 11 people died and more than 100 people were injured at an annual spring festival in eastern Pakistan celebrated with the flying of thousands of colourful kites, officials said today.

The deaths and injuries were caused by stray bullets, sharpened kite-strings, electrocution and people falling off rooftops yesterday at the conclusion of the two-day Basant festival, said Ruqia Bano, spokeswoman for emergency service in the city of Lahore.

I hope George Bush reads this and takes it under advisement.  The US could be flying THOUSANDS of kites in Baghdad in a matter of weeks. 

If the math works out, we could have Iraq under control in just a few months of steady terrorist injuries and deaths.

This is awesome!