Every day we send our kids into a violent war zone, where they are constantly in danger, both physically and morally.
From gangstas to liberal teachers, our schools are the most dangerous place to be these days.
Dark skinned drug addicts bring guns to school, and who knows when they will go on a rampage, murdering our innocent good children.
Well never fear! The only political party dedicated to keeping your family save (Republican) is taking the next step in protecting you and your family.
Republican Bill Crozier, who is running for office in Oklahoma, has found the answer:
require all students to have a large textbook nearby to deflect the bullets of a gunman shooting at them.