LiberalsMustDie.com

Scientists are so dumb.

In a recent article on the BBC website (what the hell is the BBC anyway?) they suggested that the human race "nearly split in two". 

Oh is that right?  It nearly split in two?

How about this, get out of your hethen labs where you concoct your devious potions and go out into the world, and it will be very clear that there ARE two types of humans! 

There are Gods people:

 

 

 

 

Then there are the evil ones who God has "marked" with dark skin so we will know they are followers of satan:

 

 

 

 

 

 

So don't give this this crap about "almost" 2 races.  There ARE 2 races, and I am glad to be part of the good guys, and not the evil doers!

 

 It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  That famous Bible quote described my Sunday perfectly.

As usual my Sunday started with the 7am church service, followed by the 8:30, 10, and 11:30 services.

I was gearing up for the 1:00 service when I noticed some dust on one of the coffee tables in the parlor.  Our janitor "Pedro" was walking by at the time and so I asked him very nicely if he would please clean it up.

"Hey Pedro. Hola. Esta table is dirty. DIR-TY, comprende?  Like you: Dirty.  Ok?  You understand?  Dirty is not good ok?  Clean up now, pronto.  Clean up now or INS come. I.N.S. You understand?"

Well, I was expecting Pedro to get to work cleaning like speedy gonzalez but instead he said something about having to leave for a football game. I knew the Bears were not playing, so I knew he was lying. I thought about calling the INS right then and there, but the church could never find someone to work for 60 hours a week for food and shelter if Pedro was deported, so I decided against it.

Instead, I decided to follow him.

This turned out to be a real problem, because he doesn't have a car. So there was a lot of walking and public transportation.

While I was on the Bus, keeping an eye on him, I kept seeing car loads of Mexicans pass us by.  12 adults in a Geo Prizm is a cramped ride.  At least I think they were adults... it's hard to tell with Mexicans. It's like they stop getting taller as soon as they grow out their mustache; at age 12.

I wish Pedro would have jumped in a car with them so I could have driven in a car or taken a cab.  Public transportation is for Democrats.

Anyway, so we get to Soldier Field and there are TONS of Mexicans all wearing green. What, are they Packers fans?

I found some guy holding a stack of tickets an inch think, he must have had 50. So I asked him how much he was selling them for. He said that he wasn't selling, that the tickets were just for his family.

Ok whatever, I pulled out a 50 and this guy sent one of his kids packing.

Once inside I realized I had been tricked! It wasn't a football game at all, it was a SOCCER game, and I was surrounded by 60,000 screaming Mexicans. It was like an immigration march!!

I was shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that the United States HAS a soccer team, but I guess they do, because they were out there playing Mexico.

I watched for about 5 minutes, expecting to see the US kicking the crap out of the Mexicans (Greatest country in the world against a 3rd World hole in the ground, come one) but it was MEXICO that scored?! How on Earth could this be happening?  I started to have flashbacks to the US Basketball team losing last year to Italy and I lost control.

The crowd was getting out of control, chanting stuff in Mexican.  I started screaming at them, letting them know that I was better than they were in every measurable way.

"I make more in 1 week than you do in a whole year."

"I have health insurance."

"I am in this country legally!!"

"I speak English!"

"Jesus loves my country more!"

"I have way more cable channels to choose from!"

And on and on.

But there was one problem. I don't think any of them spoke American.

I got on the phone to try and contact the INS.  This was a once in a life time opportunity for them.  The illegals had all gathered in the same place.  All the INS had to do was seal the exits, and bring 10,000 patty wagons to arrest all the illegals, but I was having trouble getting a good cell signal.

Then it happened, the US scored not once but twice!!

The Mexicans were dead quiet and I was screaming at them, letting them know how great the USA is!

It was awesome, the US won the game (of course, we are the greatest) and all those Mexicans went home crying.

That's what you get for being an illegal!

Maybe next time you will learn, and not break into a country illegally!

For the last year I have been trying to figure out why liberals really hate Alberto Gonzalez, the Greatest Attorney General of all Time (TM).

Liberals will say that it is because is constantly lying under oath, undermining our constitution, finding ways to eliminate our most basic rights, breaking the law by wire tapping American citizens without a warrant (and lying about it under oath), endagering our troops and throwing the Geneva Convention out the door by authorizing torture of our prisoners of war (and other random individuals), approving of holding american citizens prisoner without charging them with a crime, and firing US Attorneys who were prosecuting Republicans for corruption to protect his own party.

But those are such weak reasons, I have been convinced there had to be another reason. And now I KNOW WHY!

The reason after the jump...

This is really sad. What the hell is this????

What did those Mexicans do to Newt to force him to speak in Mexican, and how the hell did Newt learn to speak Mexican anway?

Has he been brain washed by the illegals?

Someone nees to find out who cuts his grass and cleans his house.  Maybe they kidnapped him and used their "latino magic" to screw with his head like to make him yet another manchurian candidate?

Arnold Schwarzenegger means business when it comes to midgets and illegal aliens.

At a recent pro-illegal rally, arnold pulled a gun on one of the illegals and forced he/she to go back to Mexico!

USA USA!!!

"Diana Ponce talks on a phone in the yard of her San Pablo home Wednesday, the fifth day of a hunger strike to protest the gathering of armed volunteers, the Minuteman Project, at the Arizona-Mexico border to keep illegal immigrants from entering the United States."

From the looks of things, she might be able to go YEARS without eating.

I mean, she must have like 18-24 months worth of fat that she can live off of, just like a bear during hybernation.

BTW, where does an illegal like this get enough money to buy all that food??  If she is making $3/hour, at 100 hours a wekk that is 300 bucks a week.  From the looks of it, she is probably eating 12-14 Big Macs per day.  That equals out to around $36-42/day or $252-294/ week, leaving her only a few dollars a week!!  How does she do it?

The Internets have been around for about 4 years now and call me crazy, but I think you can count the number of "good" that have happened on the Internets on one hand.

Some of these rare positive things such as being able to read Ann Coulter any time day or night, or listen to President Bush's weekly radio address, have been outweighed by the bad Internets like DailyKos.com and Fifa.com (a site that claims to be about football, but is really about soccer).

But now, a new website is going to make the Internet "worth it," even if 80% of the tubes are tangled up with gay porn.

To learn about this new breakthrough Internets, and how it is going to change everything when it comes to illegals and the upcoming election, click the link below to read the rest of this article! Do it!