LiberalsMustDie.com

I have been waiting to post this for so long, but I had to wait until Montana and Virginia were in the bag.

Karl Rove, you are a genius! You did it!

Tuesday night the Dems were busy trying to win the 2006 midterm elections. But at the same time, political genius Karl Rove was busy winning the presidential elections of 2008 and 2012!!

The Defeat-o-crats never saw it coming, and now it is too late! We own this country for decades to come!!

“LiberalsMustDie.com is now projecting that the Republicans will win the next 2 presidential elections!”

So how did Karl do it?



The plan was amazing and I have to say that it has been really hard to keep it a secret from all these stupid libs who thought they were "winning" the election.

Here is a high level view of Karl’s plan that that will guarantee Republicans rule the land for countless elections to come!

Step 1:  Allow the Defeat-o-crats to think that they have won a midterm election.  

For this to happen, and to be really effective at deceiving them into believing that there has been a change in attitude in this country, we needed to let them pick up seats in places where normally they never win, like Kansas, Idaho and Montana.

This was NOT EASY.  We had to convince smart, average Americans to somehow vote for a Democrat... and even harder, we had to convince the idiots who are already Democrats to actually show up at the polls, but because they hate Democracy and liberty so much, it was a tough thing to do.  To them voting is something that should be avoided at all costs, just like attending church.

So how did we get these anti-terrorist, patriotic Americans to somehow vote for a party that supports the terrorists and hates God?  

As I said, it wasn't easy.  First we needed things in Iraq to get really really bad.  We leaked some internal memos showing that Iraq was getting worse and moving closer toward chaos every week.  Then, we leaked an intelligence report that showed that our war in Iraq is actually making us much less safe in the war on terrorism!  

On the corruption front, we weren’t getting enough people voting for Defeat-o-crats, so we had to come up with a few more scandals, like Bob Ney getting convicted and Curt Weldon having his daughters office raided by the FBI (because she was money laundering for him basically).

Even with all these things, we were still looking a likely GOP landslide win, as always.  So Mark Foley agreed to take one for the team.  A little scandal with him and an underage page did the trick.

We agreed to provide Rush Limbaugh with 5 years of Oxy-Cotton in order for him to make fun of Michael J. Fox disease.  That tipped the scales in Missouri.

And to seal the deal nationwide, we made sure that President Bush gave a big vote of confidence to Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld just days before the election.  And we outted Ted Haggart as a freaky homo.

I haven't even mentioned the countless little things that each candidate did to help.  George Allen calling a dark skinned kid "Macaca", Conrad Burns chewing out volunteer fire fighters of doing a “piss poor job" and of not doing “a God damned thing,” or maryline Musgrave refusing to deny that stopping a gay marriage is more important than keeping a soldier from being killed.

Everyone did their part.

And so the winners (Republicans who were able to lose their races) will now be rewarded with amazing lobbying contracts where they will make millions upon millions!  Those Republicans who were not able to convince the voters to throw them out must continue the useless job of being a Congressman or Senator as punishment for not getting the job done.

Step 2: Appoint new Secretary of Defense.

Putting a new figurehead on this war will really boost moral, and at the same time it will allow Rumsfeld to focus entirely on the secret prisions and information extraction (torturing those bastards).

This will make it seem as if the President has changed his mind, and is moving in a new direction (a new course).  But behind closed doors it will be business as usual.

Plus, Bush can blame things on the new guy, and say that Dems “made him switch” and that it cost us lives, but that’s what the Dems want.


Step 3: Veto baby, veto!

Not so much "veto" as use signing statements to void out everything the Dumb-ass-crats pass.

For example, "I will interpret this bill, which increases the minimum wage, as a suggestion to employers that they increase the wage of employees who deserve to earn more than the minimum wage, but not a requirement that they do so."  

See?  Perfect!!


Step 4: Two years of gridlock!

The president and the Republicans can now blame everything on the Democrats, who hold both houses of congress.  Republicans try to slow down things in Congress, and then the President can veto or "signing-statement it" away.

Over the next 2 years, people will be mad about the growing war in Iraq, and concerned about the upcoming short lived nuclear war between Israel and Iran, not to mention all the terrorists who will attack the us in the coming months.


Step 5: Run the tables in 08 (and 2012)!

Everyone will be so pissed by 2008 that they will vote overwhelmingly for the Republicans.  It won't matter who the Dems run, or who the Republicans run, it will just be a blowout!

With a new president and a "fresh" congress, we can carry on for at least another 6 years after that, at which point we can decide if we need another 2 year "break" in order to ensure our control over the next 6 years.


Step 6: Repeat!

Thank you Jesus for making everything go according to plan!