LiberalsMustDie.com

1) Don't get to the polls too early. Most polling places will only open their voting machines a few minutes before the polls close, so why wait in line for hours and hours? Close to the end of the polling period is when there is no wait so show up with about 15 minutes left or less for the quickest results.

2) Make sure you have the appropriate credentials. This means a drivers license, a state ID, and a passport. If you don't have one of these, you can substitute a Platinum American Express card (must be Platinum) or a paycheck stub showing a salary of 70,000 or more. Greencards are not accepted and could result in a charge of attempted voter fraud being filed against you.

3) Make sure you aren't arrested. This means that you should make sure you clear up any warrants for your arrest or any other fines in your name. This includes parking tickets, speeding violations, and even late fees at stores like Blockbuster. Not everyone will be arrested on the spot, but if you can't pay the fine and the "penalty fee," then you might be spending a few days in jail.

4) Make sure you bone up on your American history. If you match the "profile", you might be given a small, but complicated, test to see if you are worthy to have your vote counted. If you can't pass the test, you may simply pay a small fee ($1200) to have your vote cast anyway.

5) Vote for some Republicans to confuse the electronic voting hackers. If you vote all Democrats, there is a chance that your vote could get changed to being a vote for all Republicans. So, to outsmart the hackers, vote for some Republicans, this way, if you vote is switched, you will have still voted for some Democrats!! Bonus!

So good luck, and remember to plan time to vote this Wednesday, November 8th! Polls close at 11:00 PM, so get there by 10:45 PM!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Comments [4] |

Monday, November 06, 2006 2:38:35 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

And don't forget, illegal immigrants or anyone who is hispanic, black, a woman, chinese, gay, or believes in the theory of evolution will be arrested and deported if they try to vote.

Anonymous

Monday, November 06, 2006 4:20:07 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Thanks for this site.....it really shows the poor humor and insecurities of the republican base. Supporting our troops doesn't mean staying the course. A course that amounts to an ill conceived strategy for victory. The poor leadership that is leading the charge is only furthering the terroriests agenda. True patriots will vote for a change by casting a democratic vote. A vote for democrates is a vote for the troops. Only with democratic leadership will the troops have a fighting chance. We by far have the best military (troops and equipment) in the world, we should have won the war two years ago.....sorry republicans....your president has failed the troops and America.

God Bless America and the Planet.

Anonymous

Monday, November 06, 2006 5:23:49 PM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

If you are an illegal immigrant who has TB and serves food, please wear plastic gloves and stop changing your address as we are trying to give you free health care and you must be monitored to see if the TB is being effectively eliminated. Please pay at the second window...

Anonymous

Tuesday, November 07, 2006 2:03:56 AM (Central Standard Time, UTC-06:00)

Even if all the above pieces of advice fail to work, if your state has Diebold voting machines, if you vote for a Demoncrat, your vote will automagically be changed to a Republican vote! Thanks to Ohio's Secretary of State Ken Blackwell (PBUH), God's Official Party will have no problem sailing to a decisive victory!

Remember, "Diebold election systems" anagrams to "So Dems lose indetectibly"!

Can I have a hallelujah?

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Liberals are stupid and morans!